“God, why did you do this all of a sudden?”

I am excited to be sharing the first Guest Post by P.V. In this article, PV shares with us some of her story and how seeing her worth in God’s eyes and reading the Word of God have helped her find hope in the midst of many difficulties and struggles that she faced in her life. I hope you enjoy it!


How am I deemed “worthy” in God’s eyes? How has my own, personal, and faith-filled journey help instill that in me?

A couple of weeks ago, a close friend of mine personally asked me to write an article describing how I see myself worthy in God’s eyes. When asked, I immediately said “yes,” agreed to writing an article, and became ecstatic.

My own personal and faith-filled journey has been a difficult one and my trust in God has been diminishing slowly in the past. From the academic obstacles I’ve faced to losing a loved one has all instilled into me this question: “God, why did you do this all of a sudden?” and “Why place more burden to my own family and I?”

Let’s start with pre-college life: my family purchased and upgraded to their dream home in California. I was starting a new chapter in well-established private school(s) in the area. Yes, my life was great then, but where did that all go? Fast forward to post high school and college life: death of my father, depression, sadness, feeling unworthy and broken, academic struggles, dreams shattered, and a traumatic breakup. You get the picture here.

So how does this all tie in with feeling established and worthy now? A complete 180 degree turn, right? Well, after reading several Christian books, attending young adult ministry events at a local Catholic church, and participating in Bible study, I’ve begun to fully understand how God’s love empowers me. It all came down to how I can be loved despite all the struggles and obstacles I face. Bible verses have always strengthened me and always will. A select few have touched my heart, which all have been kindly sent by my supportive network of Christian friends and by reading various books.

Three main topics and important lessons come to mind, so here they are:

1) BELIEVE: God’s love has empowered me in ways I cannot describe. Reading a few chapters from various books has gotten me spiritually thinking and trained myself to be more godly. For instance, one Bible verse stood out to me and it was both comforting and satisfying.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. So what does this really mean? We, as followers of Christ (i.e. believers) shall pour our heart and soul to knowing that His only, begotten Son, Jesus Christ truly does love us by sacrificing His own life. And by showing His love through Jesus Christ, we know He is still there. And by believing in Jesus, we will feel comforted and fulfilled. I think that is what we all need in life. We need to have it become an established truth, a motivating center instilled deeply and lovingly. God’s love is the true meaning and basis of life, and without that we are nothing. In summary, this made me appreciate and feel proud that I am a believer.  

2) DO NOT WORRY: Another way that God’s love pours out to me, ultimately making me feel worthy is when I am down, lonely and anxious. And, I am really serious! From dealing with personal trauma several times in my life, I felt anxious and depressed. I’ve gone through days feeling lonely and I was the only one who was suffering, but actually there I realized that I wasn’t since God was right there listening to me “the whole time”. I repeat “the whole time”.  As the verse goes, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7), and “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day” (Mathew 6:34). These particular verses spoke to me, just revealing how God is right there, and He will take care of all my anxiety and worries. I am a ‘big’ worrier. Everything from dealing with personal problems, to family struggles, to even work problems makes me worry. My own friends would be worried about me, and ask me from time to time, “How are you doing?” My response, “I am fine”, but deep inside I wasn’t. After reading these particular verses, they spoke to me on how there is no point to being worried, but rather God has it under control. And it was here, where I became uplifted with joy and had a sense of calming relief.

3) DO NOT FEEL BROKEN: And finally I’ve learned that when I feel burdened, troubled and broken, then I know God is there and He hears. For the longest time, I’ve felt broken, wounded and scarred. I couldn’t face the fact that I failed something I’ve worked hard for, or my beloved father wasn’t part of my life or the person I thought I loved, couldn’t love me in that same way anymore. I would cry out with tears streaming down my face, “Why Lord, why? What did I do to deserve such pain?” But for some reason, every time I would say this, I knew that He was listening. He would hear my plea. This reminded me of the following verse, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears. And delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous. But the Lord delivers him out of them” Psalm 34:17-19.  As I read this, I knew I could still be comforted despite my brokenness, and that I was still loved unconditionally. It was here I knew that I was made worthy in God’s eyes and that He protects me.

And that’s it. Three main lessons. Three main points. Many Bible verses. But all that came down to myself, made in God’s image, becoming a stronger, more beautiful woman filled with unconditional love, smiles, laughter and simply, a better me.  Thank you for reading.


Thank you so much PV for sharing with us your insights and the lessons you learned along the way.

     

 

Advertisements

One Comment Add yours

  1. Bassey Etim says:

    Wow! Really lovely. Your words resonate too closely with my own journey. Almost like I wrote this. The loss of a loved one, depression, anxieties, struggles academically, great worrier. And yet, His love, faith in Him, Trusting He is always with me and for me have been my pillars of strength. Thanks for sharing. This blessed me too.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s